I'm my own case study.
A therapist once told me my life has been stranger than fiction. She was right. I was handed a lot of turmoil, pain, and chaos as a child, and like many women, I unknowingly built an adult life that brought me more of the same, because what feels familiar feels safe, even when it isn't. I became a perfectionist, thought that panic attacks were a normal part of life, and was constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I judged myself harshly, pretended to be confident, and spent years chasing happiness.
After years of therapy, mindset work, and intense personal development courses, I made a huge investment and hired a well-known husband-and-wife life coach team. I worked privately with them for a year. In my first session, every paradigm I had been operating from was shattered. It wasn't until then that I realized why everything I had been doing never stuck or created lasting change.
Within months, I went from survival to aliveness, which is not something that can be explained. It has to be felt. I learned to be present in my body instead of trapped in my head, to regulate my nervous system, and use breath, sound, and movement to clear the cobwebs from my heart and mind. I reconnected with my inner child, little Jill, and made my way back home to who I was before life got ahold of me. The loved, whole, free me.
Every single area of my life changed for the better, and in ways I never imagined. I always thought that personal growth meant fixing myself, and the beautiful realization was that there was never anything to fix.
This led me on a deep quest, and sent me back to the classroom to study and attempt to understand this miracle I had experienced. I later found guides and teachers who helped me see that one of the biggest gifts of my suffering was the privilege to alchemize it into a roadmap for others.
Everything I have gone through now makes sense because my purpose is to be a voice, guide and witness for women who are ready to come back home to who they always were.
The version of you that you've been chasing is in there. She was always there. Now let's go find her.
xoJillxo Jill